curhat kehamilan 26 week

rabu, 12 okt 2022
 
saat ini hamil alhamdulillah berjalan 26 week H-2 27 week masya Allah makin perut semakin begah, tidur juga udah lumayan susah mesti miring ke kanan atau miring ke kiri sampai bikin tangan keseleo, ya udah pasti pergelangan tangan ikut ketarik, yang bahkan sakitnya dari 3 bulan lalu sampai sekarang masih terasa.. dengan kondisi yang kaya gini tidur malah jadi momok yang lumayan bikin anxiety ya bun, tidur susah gak tidur lebih bahaya buat moms sama babynya juga kan.. 

akhirnya I take a risk untuk yaudah tidur aja nanti kalaupun sakit badan setelah bangun urusan besok pagi aja.. oh iya tadi pagi adi info juga kalau minggu depan dia bakalan dinas ke aceh, selama 3 hari dari hari senin itu artinya in total selama 4 hari dan 3 malem gue ditinggal sendirian dirumah dan selama itupun pasti gue berdoa didalem hati supaya terus sehat dan gak ngeluh sakit2an selama ditinggal.. facing pregnancy all alone, omg sedih bgt bun kalo malem kan perlu diusap atau di urut-urut supaya sakitnya gak menetap.. but in the end must be strong enough.

back then, semalem suntuk seluruh badan gue di balur sama adi pakai produk zambuk, counterpain dan minyak kayu putih alhamdulillah lama kelamaan bisa tidur lelap walaupun sakit dibadan tetep masih kerasa setidaknya gue enggak kebangun di jam 3 pagi lagi seperti hari-hari yang sebelumnya karna setelah itu udah pasti jadi susah merem dan lanjut tidur lagi sampai akhirnya azan subuh berkumandang, saat giliran suami mau berangkat kerja di jam 6 pagi gue malah ngantuk bukan main dan pengen tidur. what.. udah pasti gak sehat tidur pagi ya Allah.. tapi ini problem yg lagi gue alami selama kurun 3 bulan, quite stressful yes.. tapi mau bagaimana lagi😫akhirnya gue berpikir untuk cari cara nyelesaiin masalah tidur ini..

i do research ke berbagai sosmed, salah satunya gue sampe nulis resep aromaterapi difuser, kurangin minum sebelum tidur minimal 2 jam, do a little stretching, sampe ngebalur badan pake minyak kayu putih supaya hangat terus, oh iya ngatur suhu ac juga supaya gak terlalu dingin atau hangat, and you know what.. I do that all steps but sometimes change needs time right? i should be no worries, because I already try my best at that time. I still have much expectation to get better sleep next day.

kalau tidur gak nyaman pasti suami kan tau ya, di suatu malam adi mungkin khawatir dan mulai nanyain gue mungkin ada masalah apa sampai kok susah tidur berhari-hari.. yang pastinya gue jawab dengan ya nothing.. gue even gak di kondisi yang crazy seperti hidup gue sebelum menjadi fulltime IRT yakan I mean I dont have any problem with stuff or people or even a job itself. everything is under my control, i dont even cant complain much like before, i enjoyed my day to day.. ya i must to admit maybe maybe several thing are still stuck, but it dont bother me alot.. it still fly around my head, but i always ignore their existances no wonder about how and why. i keep my calm inside..

but pregnancy it always comes with fear, fear if you cant be a good mom if you get graduated school soon.. fear of labor process, how much you can take the extream pain because I knew my pain metter was broke. sadly. i hope i have a comfortable pregnancy or during my labor soon.. i'll be fine, i am suggesting my self each day, everyone face all this fears.. i mean every pregnant mom.. they are fine until now and you will have the same experience like them so dont waste your time to think about the worst case, allright? 

oh iya gue jg selalu kepikiran dengan tes S2 di bulan november nanti bisa gak ya kuliah sambil jaga anak.. pembantunya jg blm ada kandidatnya ya kaya gitu regular moms typical problem gak sih hahaha sisanya udah gue lepas semua aja.. keep calm keep calm.. 

focus on yourself first

searching for meaning, figuring out everything because we only live once and we cant turn back the time. so we must be content and be grateful of the life it self. be present, be the person who pursue everything better than yesterday. throw negative vibes (people and your surrounded) more lived, be fearless and success in your own way. dont waste your time anymore, you already did it so see more widely. look into your soul, what's your inner calling?

is it make you more happy? is it make you being an authentic person? is it fired out your spirit? is it make you more lived than before? if the answer is yes then do it, keep the faith keep your faith. be believer, believer of what's god make for you is the best creation of his art. you only do your best and do it for 100%. never lies on your sacrifice and bloody hardship in return, be focused on process. no matter how slow the progress is, the bright day will come. it'll free your soul from any material attachment.

Words I loved recently

so hi guys, I am quoting some of the lovely yet motivating words that I love the most. mostly it comes from the book I read and also from social media. here the powerful words, hopefully those can spark in your life too and helping you in any form of what you've been thru. 

i just in love how words can affected so much into someone's life, so spread the positive ones if you can and if you dont have any just keep quiet and hold your self to say otherwise. 

be kind, everytime you can.. at least it makes you a good human being, right?

1. there is always a chance to turning the table, believe in your self.

2. there is no perfect fit when you are looking for the next big thing to do, you have to take opportunities and make an opportunity fit for you rather than the other way around. the ability to learn is the most important quality a leader can have.

3. i hope you find the courage to make your life a blessing.

4. what it taught me was you have to be confident, eventho you're so self-critical inside about what it is you may not know and that, leads to taking risks.

5. instead of thinking "make it perfect" train the mindset of "make it exist" it is life changing, try it! because the best witer ever wrote that "the first draft of anything is shit" and we all know that is true.

6. who would i be if i believed i was worthy? who would i be if i believed i could? who would i be if i believed i was just as capable as anyone else? as soon as you will learn that you're the author of your own story and you are start to seeing it.

7. be the master of your thoughts and your feelings and notice the ease with which you can make your decisions big or small, knowing that you are the one in control of yourself. dont linger in uncertainty, somewhere in the middle.

8. once you master yourself, impossible will no longer stand in the way of your dreams.

9. dont ever force your self to live up to anyone's standards, make your own standards based on your abilities, based on your potential and based on your vision for your future. take time to figure out what the big picture in your life what your end goal is.

10. no one more knowledgeable of the real you more than you are knowledgeable of yourself, so why let others dictate what works and doesnt work for you? be the phenomenal person than average, define phenomenal yourself. dont compare yourself to anyone else's phenomenal at all.

11. what is a miserable feeling? that is when you need someone else's validation to get "acceptance" ticket about yourself. have your own big dreams and pursue them because you know you can. no one is stopping you from that, except yourself. dont live your life comparing yourself to people you think are better than you.

12. live your life working to make who you are today better than who you were yesterday, and dreaming that who you will be tomorrow is better than who you are today. do not give yourself any other option than becoming better.

13. celebrate your little success and improvements, imagine how truly happy you'll be.

What I've read in 2022

here i dropped my current reading just to share how 30 minutes per day of power read make a big difference in my life, I even finished my old book which I read 1 years ago and never been done before, feel so happy and proud tho, totally.

how to finished a book? make a time to read, period.
only 30 minutes per a day, you'll be surprised!

1. man search for meaning by frankl e. victor
2. islamic parenting "pendidikan anak metode nabi" oleh syaikh jamal abdurrahman
3. surrounded by idiots by thomas erikson
4. lean in by sheryl sandberg
5. amalan muslimah dimasa haid dan nifas pustaka imam asy-syafii
6. love for imperfect things by haemin sunim

and still counting till the end of this year.. i am so happy for this accomplishment bcs i am so focused on get done several book that I bought in 2021 or early 2022 after gather my own personal motivation finally here I come.. 

ended up with 6 books and more of books in progress.. such a great things!! yeah for sure.. I also getting ready for my after grad school  test in next november 2022 (re-learn toefl and basic math also doing some research for literature inspiration so on..)
well i must say that it quite challenging during my very 1st pregnancy.. so i have to proud of my self because i do have a strong willingness eventho its so hard to come back after 5 years full time work never study even get done 1 book per year so yeah. 

well there are 2 more books in my kindle device gotta read them bcs one of it is in the middle of the end page, but i must be enjoyed. right?
reading must be enjoyable act, some of it become our enforce meditation, to be short reading a book is where you can reconnect with your own true self when you can hear your inner voices and do positive self talk to contemplate with this unpredictable equation of life. 

Life must be full of enjoyment if we know who we are and who we want to be in future, shaping our self, preparing for the battle (because everyone has their own battlefield) inside and outside, reconnected with the first energy and remembering the reasons why i have to move is the good thing we ever do. 

Sometimes we lost sight, we over drain, we must hang on even the result isnt come yet.. be patient, still moving even a little step one was counted and make a difference.. changing will appear as we hope it come, as soon as possible☺aamiin

Service Hp di Jakarta, bagusnya dimana?

well jadi weekend kemarin kita berniat untuk service hp adi yang tiba-tiba screen lcdnya mati entah kenapa dan akhirnya kita memutuskan untuk ke Roxy Jakbar untuk service di Nacha.. 
dengan berpedoman pada pengalaman sebelumnya yang dimana kita pernah service iphone dan samsung yang hasil dan harganya cukup worth daripada harus service ke official center service ya tanpa mikir dua kali kita berangkat sih.. terus servis di nacha bisa jadi pilihan yang oke juga dikala belum gajian yakan..😆 LOL

for noted, sebelumnya kalau kita ke roxy ya seringnya naik TJ atau naik motor jadi kemarin termasuk pertama kalinya kesana naik mobil pribadi dan kita kebingunan cari tempat parkir yang penuh semua.. beneran penuh semua sampe gue pikir gila orang tanggal tua tetep beli hp atau servis hp kaya gue jg ya? hahaha akhirnya kita ke P4 dan dapat parkir disana.. dilantai 4 sih sepi paling ada beberapa toko aksesoris hp itu jg gak semuanya buka kebanyakan tutup bisa diitung jari akhirnya kita cari nacha turun ke lantai 2 dan kaget terakhir servis kayanya beberapa tahun lalu gara-gara gue ngejatohin hp dan lcd hancur itupun nacha masih kecil gtu ruangannya sekarang nachanya luas bgt kaya 2 ruko dijadiin satu dan alhamdulillah ditanganin sama profesional disana yang since what I can remember dia ini kaya pegawai lamanya nacha orangnya jujur bgt awalnya dicek dan didiagnosis kan kenapa mati lcdnya akhrinya dia nawarin mau pake lcd oled atau standart harganya beda 200rb beda di ukuran sama pixel karna adi urgent gue bilang yang standart aja pah sayang kalau oled lumayan 200rb saving karna katanya dia mau ganti hp walaupun engga sekarang juga sih..

akhirnya kita pilih yang lcd standart, karna kita gak bawa uang cash akhirnya suami gue nyari atm dan gue nungguin ditempat servicenya walaupun bisa ditinggal sih but my temptation adalah gue mau beli es teh yang dimana tiba-tiba gue pengen bgt cuma keburu mba2 yang jualannya cabut akhirnya gue nunggu penjual yang laen dateng selang 10 menitan suami gue balik, gak lama juga abang yang jualan es dateng dengan varian jualan yang lumayan banyak gue udah siapin uang 5rb perak buat beli es teh lumayan buat nungguin selama service apalagi kepala tiba-tiba pusing karna nahan pipis selama perjalanan ke roxy.. 

mas nachanya bilang kalau sebenernya hpnya setelah dibongkar gak kenapa-napa gak ada masalah di lcd hanya longgar dan lepas udah gtu aja akhirnya dia kasih bantalan supaya ke insulate panasnya saat ngecharge dan ngelem ulang lcd lama alhamdulillaaaah pas nanya harga servicenya berapa cuma 50rb doang seneng bgt gue sebagai emak-emak yang trying so hard untuk save expense untuk hal-hal mendadak kaya gini.. alhamdulillah rezeki suami gue jg karna kan dia jg mesti flight ke aceh minggu depan untuk dinas ke PLTU disana.. 

mas2nya jujur banget masya Allah gue seneng bgt sih dapet tempat service yang terpercaya kaya gini gak asbut dan gak menipu konsumen.. pantes nacha jadi tempat service yang cukup well-known disana sejak sepengalaman gue 5 tahun lalu service nacha mereka growth banget.. ya ternyata service yang mereka kasih selain kejujuran, kecepatan dan harga yang emang bisa dibilang middle tapi hasilnya oke bertahan lama ada garansi 2 minggu tapi itu jarang kita klaim karna emang cukup longlast jg hasil service mereka.. awet tahunan..

jadi gue sangat merekomendasikan kalau kalian mau service hp apalagi kalau masih di jatabek gue bener-bener mau bilang coba deh ke nacha.. servicenya cepat, harganya bersaing dan hasil mereka itu rapi bonus mereka jg jujur gaes.. tanpa kita banyak nanya mas2nya udah ngoceh duluan kenapa-kenapanya jadi gue seneng sih sebagai customer yang mungkin gak ngerti semua perintilan hp jadi merasa terbantu.. blm lagi mereka kasih tips supaya penggunaan hp optimal dan kejadian yang sama gak terulang lagi.. so mantap sih overall gue kasih nilai 10/10.. akhirnya kita pulang dengan perasaan senang meskipun dengan hal kecil macem karena mas2 nanchanya jujur jadi gak perlu ngeluarin uang lebih banyak kita bisa dapetin hp yang sudah diservice juga.. bersyukur sekali...

newborn and mom essentials ❤👼

hi everyone if you are still reading my blog, yes i do some new updated well since I've become an early new mom soon... I think several all of you are so excited to gather every tools and essential things for your first child right? hehehe and... you are getting confused what I have to buy first? dont be hesistate moms, because I made a list for y'all hope it will help you to choose and also help you to decide the importance scale to buy those cutie stuffs even we want to bought it all, right?! hehehe back then, it's all up to you guys..

👼Perlengkapan bayi👼

1.     Perlengkapan mandi
-      Bak mandi
-      Penahan badan bayi shifter bak
-      Perlak mandi
-      Handuk 2pcs
-      Washclot 2pcs
-      Washlap 2pcs
-      Cotton ball untuk pup
2.      Pampers
3.      Popok kain 6 pcs (optional)
4.      Skincare baby hypoallergenic
-        Tisue basah
-        Tisue kering
-        Sabun
-        Shampo
-        Hair lotion
-        Baby compact powder
-        Telon
-        Baby cologne
-        Face and Body lotion
-        Rash cream
-        Cream anti nyamuk
-        Bud calming untuk kembung
-        Transpulmin untuk flu
-        Nose cleaner merek pigeon
-        Kain kasa steril untuk bersihkan lidah baby dan puput pusar
-        Gunting kuku
-        Hair brush
-        Termometer
-        Sikat gigi bayi silikon
-        Cotton bud
5.      Caddy bag untuk skincare dan baby tools essential (merek kinderkeen)
6.      Perlengkapan tidur
-        Baby bedding set
-        Bantal anti peyang
-        Kelambu
-        Wonderpad
-        Selimut bayi 2 pcs (all in one merek maison elmesa on the go blanket)
7.      Perlengkapan menyusui
-        Bantal menyusui (merek omiland)
-        Penampung asi (optional)
-        Kantong asi
-        Botol menyusui (merek avent)
-        Pembersih botol silikon (merek avent)
-        Cup feeder
-        Nipple cream
8.      Perlengkapan pakaian
-        Swaddle 3 pcs
-        Gurita instan
-        Kaos dalam (optional)
-        Burp and bip alas gumoh bayi (merek little palmerhaus)
-        Baju newborn 0-3 bulan
a.      Fluffy set 18 pcs
b.      Ruffle 2 pcs
c.      One set baju tidur 2 pcs
d.      Jumper 2 pcs
-        Baju 3-6 bulan 5 set (10 pcs)
-        Baju 6-12 bulan 5 set (10 pcs)
-        Topi 2 pcs
-        Kaos kaki 5 pcs
-        Legging 3 pcs warna basic (abu, putih, khaki)
-        Mitten 3 pcs
-        Eye mask untuk berjemur
-        Slabber 1 pcs

 
👩Perlengkapan ibu👩

1.      Pembalut bersalin
2.      Korset
3.      Breastpad
4.      Asi booster
5.      Daster menyusui
6.      Bra menyusui
7.      Apron
8.      Kerudung bergo
9.      Gendongan bayi (merek optima yang type gerimis) newborn – 4 tahun
10.   Diaper bag (merek little munya)
11.   Perlengkapan pemulihan jahitan
-        Kain kasa untuk menyeka luka jahitan
-        Betadine
-        Revanol

alhamdulillah, finally I got pregnant!

Masya Allah tabarakallah.. 

sampai pada akhirnya saya di stage menjadi seorang ibu hamil juga, setelah penantian hampir 2 tahun pernikahan dengan Adi, cerita dimana yang selalu diulang tiap malam sampai menjadi yang terkubur dalam kesehariannya untuk tidak lagi kecewa dengan hasil tespack tiap bulannya yang selalu menunjukkan garis satu. ya seperti itu sedihnya, mungkin 3 bulan pertama masih yang nangis banget ketika tau tespack negatif dan terus berusaha berpikir positif kalau namanya juga masih awal pernikahan namun setelah 6 sampai 1 tahun setelahnya aku dan suami berkomitmen untuk we'll be allright if we dont have a kid by blood. we still gratefull for our life and our marriage.

time to time Allah swt hear our pray and hopes, till I decide to give my resignation letter to PT Bank Rakyat Indonesia and get concern with my education journey the miracle happens. ternyata when we let go something to achive keberkahan dari Allah swt ended up one by one the things that we want to be something real without our extra effort, Masya Allah Subahanallah kalau inget masih kerasa merindingnya. well baru berani share saat ini ke blog saat kehamilan 22 weeks and not much people around me knowing this information it because i just want to keep it to my inner circle only. i think it's fine.

i've been juggling with pregnant symptoms like getting morning sickness which I have until midnight not only in the morning, I've ever get blood spot after take a short holiday in Jogjakarta by car then in the next day we came to RS Hermina DM to got checked alhamdulillah it just fine. sometimes i cant sleep because I feel the teribble back pain somehow it feels like I want to cry out load because i cant handle the pain, it hurts. but it also beautiful, getting pregnant isnt something common as a women we want it in a long waiting. i just feel blessed whatever it takes.

two lines that change my life forever 💖

something to not to forget!

 the things that makes you have to do something with your self

they words cant hurt your feeling, cant devine who you are and cant bother your inner peace. dont make bitterness be bitter to your heart and darken what's inside because its not worth to make yourself be bitter. wrap those trashy words to garbage then leave it.

Doing something positive that remain your self-worth such as surrounded with positive people who know your worth (your husband, teh upi, riska so far), this world lack of people who genuine with realness and true colors, no need to add the count it's enough.

Be somebody who love different colors, respect diversity, not judge one by their physical appearance and so many unreliable count. see people thru their heart, kindness, and how their perceive life to be better.

leave every negative words, bad treatment at past, and leftover wound of being bullied, because you are worthy and capable of anything good in this life.

Prove that you can chase your dreams and make it happen let time heal and with your achievement you are life-prove of human can be more than their unlucky situation but still you have an option for your life and future.

there's always a light in darkness, remember how victor frankl struggle with nazi abusive act within emotionally and physically in camp concentration how he can stand up for a long time and how he wanted to be alive, his spirit and determination in life saves him.

So do train your mind to see a beautiful things in your life, a little piece of good memories and what you want to do in life or future can be your energy which you can pick when you have a rest, take it immediately and run again because the finish line is such a long way to go.

saturday, september 10th 2022 at 3.30 a.m.

cant sleep beacuse hurtfull words that parent throw to her but trying to figure out that it means nothing and leave it. i dont want to consume bad things. i am done and dont want to look back.

Resensi Buku - THE MAN'S SEARCHING FOR MEANING